We’ll start with the 19th century in today's post, and perhaps tackle modern doorstoppers in another quiz. Which tome should be your companion for a non-trivial number of hours in the near future?
Links to free ebooks of all these novels and audio of a few will be provided at the end. Now. Let's begin!
1. Do you like happy endings?
A. Yes, if you suffer sufficiently to earn it.
B. I’d rather be inspired than happy at the end of a book.
C. Lol
D. For the characters who deserve it.
2. Do you hate yourself?
A. Nah
B. A little, but only for like a chapter at a time
C. Who doesn’t?
D. Not exactly, but I do dumb shit sometimes.
3. How interested are you in sewage?
A. I’m...not?
B. Waste management is my passion.
C. Life is sewage.
D. Sewage is a bit far, but life isn’t all sunshine and roses.
4. Are you sick of inheritance as a plot device?
A. Tell you what. The inheritance thing is fine as long as there are also duels.
B. Yes, it’s played out. The characters should find even less probable ways to suddenly come into money.
C. That depends. Is there a murder?
D. No, it’s fine. How else were the Victorians supposed to make anything happen ever?
5. I say “Revolution,” you say:
A. Hell yeah, let’s kill Napoleon.
B. TO THE BARRICADE!
C. You mean, like, spiritually?
D. I’d like to revolutionize my life by moving to a quiet country town and/or making an unwise marriage.
6. Are you good with names?
A. Pretty good, yes.
B. Sure, but I’d prefer there be a secret identity involved.
C. SO GOOD. Like, you could give one character seven different nicknames and then have three others share his last name and I’ll still be totally chill. I will make CHARTS of names and like it.
D. Keep them simple, please.
7. How interested are you in the characters’ finances?
A. I mean, can’t they just all be rich and then we don’t have to worry about it?
B. It matters and class difference should have representation, but I’m also cool with a character just getting, like, absurdly and inexplicably rich all of a sudden.
C. A little, but I’d rather hear about their moral and spiritual health.
D. SO interested. Give me ALL the Ye Olde Financial Minutiae. Debt, archaically eccentric wills, betrothals imperiled by financial ruin, the works.
8. What kind of hero do you want?
A. A lovable loner who gets his due.
B. An absolute paragon on a redemptive journey.
C. No heroes, please, just a really dysfunctional family.
D. A teenage girl who thinks she has her shit together but is about to find out she’s wrong.
9. How about the villain?
A. A lying rake about to seduce an impressionable young woman. Oh and also Napoleon.
B. He gets a redemptive journey, too. Redemptive journeys for everyone!
C. Don’t we all sort of have the villain inside ourselves? But also, an aloof and sadistic servant of questionable birth.
D. Our own poor life decisions.
10. Do you need a love story?
A. Yes, and make it good.
B. Meh, it can be secondary.
C. Only if it’s a triangle.
D. Sure, but kill the romance with the mundane at least a little.
RESULTS
If you chose...
Mostly As: War and Peace (Leo Tolstoy)
The long book for a rainy day par excellence. Join Pierre, Natasha, Andrei, and the rest with a free ebook.
Mostly Bs: Les Misérables (Victor Hugo)
You've considered a quarantine lipsync or a spoof of "One Day More," but have you considered tackling the original? Download a free ebook or the audiobook in five volumes.
Mostly Cs: The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
Your quarantine mood calls for something a bit darker, and Dostoyevsky's final masterpiece is just the ticket. Ruminate over the human condition with the free ebook or in audio.
Mostly Ds: Middlemarch (George Eliot)
You prefer something a bit less dramatic, so may I suggest a clear and sensitive look at the lives of unextraordinary people in a Victorian country village? You'll be no less wowed by Eliot's genius just because the book lacks duels, revolutions, and murder trials. Settle in with a free ebook or audiobook and get reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment