It is frightful indeed when such a disturbance strikes a pleasant village like St. Mary Mead! So make a pot of English Breakfast and fetch your favorite shawl as you prepare to discover a feline corpse that will not disturb you in the least, dear reader. In fact, you’ll feel downright cozy as you watch the neighborhood go into a tizzy and await the arrival of a dear elderly lady who will explain everything without looking up from her knitting.
Dorothy Sayers
By Jove, I do say the cat’s got herself into a spot of trouble, what? But fear not, and don’t let our detective’s jolly manner or attention to his top hat fool you: he is first-rate. We may come to the diverting if gruesome conclusion that some unlikely and inanimate object is responsible for your cat’s untimely demise, or we may call upon Harriet and take this opportunity for an extended meditation on love and feminism on our way to finding her safe and sound. Either way, you can be assured that the mystery will be solved. Now Bunter, if you would just fetch our coats, there’s a good chap.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Ah, you see that speck of dust on your potted plant? That particular type of limestone is only found at the specific quarry located 2.4 miles to the southwest of here. We can thus assume that the cat has been wandering to the quarry and back, and you will surely find her there. Elementary!
Wilkie Collins
The cat had a secret, you see. Six hundred pages and three major plot twists later, you will face the cat’s secret husband in the family catacombs in front of the empty tomb of Patches, where he will reveal that Whiskers actually had no legitimate claim to the baronetcy.
Robert Galbraith
It’s likely the cat has met a grizzly end, but it will take us about 250 more pages than necessary to find out, because I’m J. K. Rowling and no editor is going to tell me what to do. In the meantime, this case will provide ample opportunity for private detective Cormoran Strike to grapple with his sexual and romantic feelings for his beautiful and clever assistant, Robin Ellacott.
Tana French
Don’t worry, we will solve this mystery, and its solution will be satisfactorily horrifying or gruesome. But for now, let’s focus on you, narrator. How’s your past? Any absent parents who could turn up at the wrong time? Childhood sweethearts you’ve lost touch with who may or may not be dead? Cold cases that still haunt you? You may think your personal life has fuckall to do with this case, but that’s where you’re wrong. Buckle in, baby, cause this shite’s about to get traumatic.
Louise Penny
Come for the relatively painless and wholesome mystery, and stay for the French Canadian detective with a British accent and the whole quirky gang at Three Pines. The cat is probably fine.
Gillian Flynn
The cat has been brutally murdered by a charming and stunningly beautiful female psychopath. That’s right, women and hot girls can be psychopathic killers, too! #LeanIn
Did you know there's a 12 word phrase you can communicate to your crush... that will induce deep feelings of love and impulsive appeal for you buried inside his heart?
ReplyDeleteThat's because hidden in these 12 words is a "secret signal" that fuels a man's impulse to love, worship and look after you with all his heart...
12 Words That Fuel A Man's Love Response
This impulse is so hardwired into a man's brain that it will make him work better than ever before to to be the best lover he can be.
As a matter of fact, triggering this dominant impulse is so important to achieving the best possible relationship with your man that the second you send your man a "Secret Signal"...
...You will soon find him open his heart and mind for you in a way he's never experienced before and he will see you as the only woman in the world who has ever truly attracted him.